So I've been wrestling with Grace the last couple of days. Not so much with Grace that God has given to me, but my obligation to give that same grace to others. I think I'm pretty good about giving grace in easy times...but those hard times, the challenging times...the times when I feel the need for justice to outweigh anything else...well I usually fail miserably then. And the thing is, that I know better. I know that I'm supposed to give grace simply because I deserved justice for my sins and I was given grace and it's because of that, that I'm called...implored...to give that same grace to others.
And yet I do fail. All the time. And more grace is given. And so I must give more. Lord help me...

So I was truly overcome wih emotion today. I was driving to Knoxville to guitar center ( one of my favorite stores) and the Lord laid a buddy of mine on my heart. I couldn't shake him, so I texted him to see how he was and sure enough, he was havin a really rough go. We couldn't talk for long, but I was struck by how much God is in love with us as his kids. He cared so much for my friend, that he wanted me to text him just to let him know that he (God) was thinking about him (my friend). And it's like that for all of us. I was struck by how much he cares for all of us and wants us to know how much loves us desperately. He longs for communion with you! He has GOOD thoughts about you! He has GOOD plans for you! He is CRAZY about you, his son and daughter.

Lift up your head, oh weary traveler...keep your gaze fixed upon him.

So my hands are almost frozen right now. Rodney and I have been shooting since 7:45 this morning and it's COLD! But it has been so cool to do this. As we speak, the nicest lady who lives here on this farm is making us a cup of hot chocolate. Amazing. So here are some pix for you:

Rodney checking out the scene:


Rodney getting the camera set:








It was an amazing time and the farm was awesome and the owners were just amazing people. I can't wait to get it all cut and edited and put together. Be looking for this movie next year. And be checking back here for me updates!

I'm up early this morning to help my buddy Rodney shoot his movie...it's gonna be a good one. I'll post some photos from the shoot, so check back!

I couldn't have made this up if I wanted to...

So some of you may remember last month the story that I told you about my key and how I had lost it and what God told me in the process...well...it happened again...

So I had left the house to go work out and had finished and come home. I was getting out of my car and I saw that I had some travel mugs (I love travel mugs!) that needed to be washed. So grabbed them in one arm and in the other hand I had my little key there and an empty starbucks (I love starbucks...I love coffee...) cup that I was going to throw away in our big green trash container that you have to take out to the street every week.

Now as far as trash containers go, ours is pretty normal...its green...we put our trash in it...it stinks...nothing special about it. So I'm walking over to our big green trash container with my starbucks cup and Key in hand. For about 2 seconds, the thought flashed through my mind "what if I drop my Key in the trash?" but I quickly dismissed that thought because I felt like I had a pretty good grip on it and besides, who on earth would throw away their car key?

So I open the lid and then promptly procede to throw both my used and empty Starbucks cup AND my key into our completely normal and 2/3 of the way full, big green trash container.

Hm.

I have to be completely honest. The first word that came out of my mouth, wasn't very Christlike.

But then I did what anyone in my position would have to do...I began taking out the trash. And that is when I began to realize that what I thought was a completely normal green trash container, was actually something special. I don't quite know how to describe the aroma that was emmanating from the container, but Fierce is a good place to start. And as I'm pulling bags of rotten garbage and soggy pizza boxes out the trash container, I am desperately hoping that somehow, someway that my Key has gotten stuck on something maybe halfway down, so that i can gingerly reach in and pull it out. But with each passing moldy banana peel and empty Starbucks cup (do I really drink that much coffee??) my hope of not having to go all the way to the bottom quickly diminished.

And finally...there it was. Nestled in a pool of putrid trash water with chunks floating in it. And as I reach down to the bottom of our trash container, I was hit in the face with an odor that reminded me of the great smoking mountain of trash that i witnessed in the Phillipine Islands...Unbelievable.

I grab my Key and as I'm putting the pizza boxes and bags of garbage back in the trash container, I say out loud, "Well God...what was the point of that one?"

As I was coming into the house, trying not to gag as I relived what I had just experienced, I felt the still small voice of God begin to speak to my heart. And this was what He reminded me...

He reminded me that there are going to be times in our lives where we are going to have to go through some of the stinkiest, smelliest things to actually get that something that is extremely important to us. But if we will stay focused, and keep our eyes focused on Him and not on the trash around us, He will bring us through those moments with that which matters the most in our grasp.

Keep your eyes on Him my friend. He is the Key...

So those of you who aren't sports fans are going to laugh at me, but i was just sitting here watching a little sportscenter and i heard one of the commentators make this comment:

"Sports requires such a great mindset, and a focus to be great..."

Now before I get going, I want to just let you know that I'm not really gonna hold anything back here. Without really going into details, I want to be honest. I am going through some really, really difficult stuff right now. And even though I can't share what the stuff is, the simple fact is that this is probably one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I don't really understand what it is that God is doing with me and I feel like I am alone. There have been some pretty big hurts that have happened in my life and the one thing that I keep hearing myself say is "I just don't understand..."

Do you remember that verse that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding...." (proverbs 3:5) well...after hearing the Sportscenter guy say what he said, I began ro realize a little better what this verse means. It really isn't about understanding at all...its about the FOCUS of your understanding. If all I ever focus on is how much I don't understand and how much things hurt and how none of anything makes any sense, then of course I will be hurt and bothered and upset...But if I will MAKE myself focus on what I DO understand...that God is a loving God (John 3:16)...that He has good plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11)...that He is my protector and place of safety (Proverbs 18:10), then and ONLY then will this life be what God has promised - ABUNDANT (John 10:10)

In other words...it has to be an act of your will to make yourself focus on the Lord. Make yourself focus on His promises. Hey, I'm in your shoes ok? I KNOW how hard it is to make yourself do that...to ignore how much your heart is breaking. To forget about the pain and the hurt...I'm IN it right now! But our Life as Christians requires such a great mindset, and a focus to be great.

Keep your eyes up my friend...

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."
Romans 12:2

This morning i was reading Proverbs 20, and i came upon this verse

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”

If you are anything like me, friend, then you have had a hard time with this particular tenent of scripture. I know that the Lord is directing my steps...that doesn’t bother me...what does bother me is when things don’t necessarily go the way that i think that they should go. Its my understanding (or lack thereof) that drives me crazy. I mean, i really want to understand what is going on and when i don’t, I just go crazy. But I guess that’s the point. If i understood, then it would be all about me. My doing or not doing God’s will would at that point would completely depend on my understanding and then there would be no need to trust the Lord.

And the more that I’m in this season that I’m in, the more I realize that that is exactly what He is asking of me. To trust him...heart and soul...and by the way, completely regardless and independent of whether or not I understand...

If you are where I have been my friend, I encourage you to hang in there. Trust Him, even if you don’t understand. Lean on Him even if you don’t feel His presence. And of course...don’t try to figure it all out! ;-)

So this morning the Lord just melted my heart....

So I’m at home...get up and then kinda plan out my day. First I’m gonna do a little work in the studio, then I’m going to go to the post office, then to Starbucks and read a little, then pick up Wally to head to work. Just one little bitty problem, I can’t find my car key.

Now here’s the deal on the key...the top part of it is broken, so i can’t actually put it on a key ring with other keys. I have to keep it separate and just keep up with it. So yes, I have had some issues with losing it, but usually I can find it very quickly, because I have certain spots where I put it, but this morning was quite the exception...

So I’m hunting for my key...cannot find it in any of the usual spots and have now circled the house several times. I’m starting to get really frustrated...yet still I look and still the key is hidden from me. I’ve now been searching for awhile...and I’ve begun to pray...”Lord PLEASE just help me find my key...”

Nothing. Except this still small voice that has begun to whisper in the back of my brain to stop looking and read the Bible for a minute.

WHAT??? How is that gonna help me find my key? So I ignore the voice...

Kept on looking for another 10 minutes and by this point I am extremely frustrated...not really at God, but kinda at Him for not helping me out...and all I keep hearing is “read the Word”. So after about the fifth time hearing Him tell me to read, I exclaim out loud “What, I’m gonna read the Bible and then You are just gonna magically make my key appear?”

So I reluctantly grab the Bible on the coffee table in the living room and sit down on the couch. I read Psalm 57...The first verse says:
“Have mercy on me oh God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes.”

Immediately after finishing reading the Psalm...i pause to think about the whole situation and look up and what do my eyes see? My key...sitting right under where the Bible had been and where i had already looked several times.

I can’t say anything other than in that moment, i felt my heart melt. To quote a friend of mine who heard the story, the Word really is the Key!

Friend...i don’t know what to say, except that there are going to be moments when you hear that still, small voice of God and it just doesn’t make a lick of sense. But listen...just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean that God doesn’t. Just because something doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make sense to Him.

Trust Him. Let Him melt your heart that has been frozen by fear and doubt...He melted mine this morning, and it is an amazing feeling...

My friends, i don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but you are in a battle, and i’m not just talking about Christians. Have you ever wondered sometimes why life is just hard and doesn’t make sense? Have you ever felt like there was just this brick wall that you couldn’t penetrate? To quote the movie Bruce Almighty, like there was an “anti-Bruce barrier?”

There is a battle going on all around you and there are only two choices (even if you are a non Christian). Am I going to fight or am i going to fail? Are you going to hang on even if you can’t see anything or are you going to wilt.

I had a revelation about a week ago that has just shaken me up. There really is no persecution in this country. I’m not talking about people laughing at you for your faith or making fun of you in school or work for standing up for what you believe; I’m talking about given the choice of dying for your faith or living without it, kind of persecution. And since there really isn’t that kind of persecution here in America (or countries like it) I sometimes wonder if God allows the enemy the come after us to see how hard we are going to hold onto him. I think the he will allow hard stuff to happen to see how sincere we really are. Remember Job? Lost everything he had ever had...including his kids. The only thing that God allowed him to keep was his wife and even she told him that he should just curse God and die.

I’m not saying that this is how things are all the time. Rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous...sometimes bad things just happen...but the next time that you are faced with something like that, remember what Jesus said...that the devil is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour...that he (the devil) has come to steal, to kill and to destroy, but that He (Jesus) is greater and wants you have ABUNDANT life....

Fight on you mighty man or woman of God. Cling to the promises in his word...put on the whole armor of God.

Ephesians 6:13 “That is why you need to put on God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing.” (NCV)

Mom is also in town and we had a great time talking yesterday, and I got to unload a bit of stuff, not at her, but just that I has been bothering me, and she encouraged me as only a mom can. Nat has been trying to hard to encourage me to stay before the Lord also…its just been so hard to even think that God wants to use me or has a plan or anything. It has felt like I'm forgotten. So that leads me back to where I was…psalm 37:4…which then lead me to read the whole psalm and that was where I really felt the Lord telling me some stuff…

then you will live safely in the land and prosper”
I have had a really tough time with the trusting part…
But he says that if I will trust Him and do good,
Then I will live safely and prosper. And then
Immediately following that is the verse I was
Lead to…Psalm 37:4

“Take delight in the Lord
and he will give you your hearts desires.”
It seems that this is kinda what I’ve been focused on.
The desires of my heart…when I really should be
Focused on trusting Him, doing good, and taking
Delight in Him. The other stuff is just a byproduct, but
A good byproduct…but that shouldn’t be the reason
For me to do what I do.

Psalm 37:6 “commit everything you do the Lord
Trust him, and he will help you”
Again, here was the trust in him part…it all boils down
To trusting him. If I can’t do that, then what is the
Point of doing anything?

Psalm 37:7 “be still in the presence of the Lord,
And wait patiently for him to act.”
And this is the hardest part for me. I think that I
Could be still in his presence, but the waiting
Patiently is not something that is easy for me to do.
But I need to! And maybe that is what he is doing…
Trying to help me to learn to wait on him
(Isaiah 40:31)